Monday, July 27, 2009

Downpour Send Its Love

I've always enjoyed the rain. It sets me in the mood for book-reading on a comfy sofa, with a cup of coffee or hot cocoa in hand. The rain makes it possible to lie in bed all-day: stare up the ceiling, sleep, look at old photographs, stretch out, curl-up in a ball, write, wrestle with pillows, call-up friends, go online, sleep again, with relaxing music playing in the background. Ah, lazy days. Ah, blessing.

But rain fell a little too much last night. Too bad I wasn't able to enjoy it at home. Instead, I had to endure at least an hour under the rain, contemplating on ways how to cross the Black Sea (which was prepared by poor drainage systems, by poor waste management, and by nature's will) to finally get home. Cars were stuck too, and pedicabs are of no use as well, so there wasn't any other way but to wait for drainage to suck at least a third of the flood up. Thank God for a borrowed umbrella, my cellphone-slash-camera-slash-music-player, and a euphoric weekend with friends old and new, I was able to keep a happy disposition under the relentlessly pouring rain. After all, there is still beauty in downpours like it. Another blessing.

So after singing under my (borrowed) umbrella, crossing the Black Sea with the help of a pedicab and a friendly pedicab driver, staying over and cleaning myself up in a long-lost friends' house while waiting for the Mariana Trench (Baesa version) to dry up, and spending half of my remaining cellphone load on calling up Mom who was somewhere else in Quezon City with the whole family, I was able to get a good night's sleep. Life's been overly-demanding since Tuesday that I've never had a decent amount of rest. So to be able to sleep after all of these is just a blessing. Ah, blessingsss :)


Talk about more blessings.


I've got 6 days to left before I turn 18. I know this'll be a major turning point in my life. But I don't know why I just can't let go of being 17. I guess it's that I believe I haven't had my fair share of seductively sexy 17, and excitingly epic 18 seems still too big to handle. Hello, bigger expectations! Welcome, larger responsibilities! But nonetheless, I am grateful for everything and everyone I've had (and am still having!) in my life. Before I turn this to a premature thank-God-and-everyone-birthday-slash-coming-of-age entry, there is one thing, a blessing in disguise as I see it right now, that I'd like to thank the whole world, and God of course (for He set the world to make me be in it), for.

I haven't slept well Friday night, for I caught up with my cousins to watch Half-Blood-Prince (which was a potion not brewed enough but still enjoyable, I believe). I woke up late Saturday morning all disoriented and panicky. I hurriedly packed up things for a YFC meeting, and a Chapter Heads Overnight right after, and went off. I left everything hanging--school work, my messy room--and went out there to face what fate has prepared for the weekend.

I cannot put to words just how much I am grateful for this Overnight. It's like God's preparing me to handle excitingly epic 18, like the world's just handing me the tools I've failed to pick up during the past 17 years, like I'm given a prep course to a responsible adulthood, and like, after the major pitfalls of 17, I'm being given the recharge for a big big BIIIG break for 18. Ah, it seems someone's excited to turn 18 now :P

For believing I could handle bigger responsibilities, and for believing in me than I do myself, and for guiding me through, thank you, YFC family. Here with my YFC upper household, MD, Miguel, Ate Karla, and Ai, who added much fun and company through out Saturday and Sunday (Aly is missed much indeed):


And here, with more YFC friends! See how happy we are! Super enjoyed Big West CHO!HAHA. Grabbed from Ai.


And thank you, world. And thank You, God.

I hope I could maximize the last days of 17. I don't know how, but I'm quite sure it'll be a good time with friends and family. Note to self: it ain't too late. 6 days = long time.


PS. I never thought I could blog with so many words again. Haha.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

What If?

What if everything
is planned?
is an illusion?
is a trap?

Don't you ever feel
like you're being watched?
anxious about who you are becoming?
scared?

But
what can you do?
don't you like who you are?
what if it's not?


Labo 'te.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Control

You hunger for control.
You love to control.
You love control.
Bad.

I lack self-control.
I need self-control.
Is that good?



We need balance.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Blanks

Tick
Tock

"Fill me in."

And I say,

"Sorry, these are all I have to could say."

Monday, July 20, 2009

Wish#2: Dance



This time, I have to thank Desa. I wish I could dance. Ha.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Wish#1: Sing



I have to thank Abbey for letting me know about this cover. Better than The Postal Service's original and Iron & Wine's cover. Just thought I'd keep it here.

I'd like to sing like this haha. I'd learn piano too. So I'd be cool that way :P

Friday, July 17, 2009

Confession#2: Speaking

I talk
a lot
when I tell stories.

I speak
little
when it's about the thoughts in my mind.

There are a lot
of people
I talk to.

But rarely do I find
people
I speak with.

(My eccentricities, my technicalities,
my difficulties, my insecurities,
my confusions.)

Rarely do I find people
Who are eager to hear
what's really inside my head.

Rarely do I find people
Who make me speak a lot,
and make me think a lot,
and make me consider loads
of other things.

Rarely do I find people
Whose minds are intriguing
And who keep me interested
with what they have to say.

(Yesterday, I could probably blame
the intoxication,
with beer, and then with coffee,
its miracles.
But nevertheless...)

There are only three
(and maybe an extra half)
as of the moment.

Thank you, God, for such people.

They add gusto
to the heart,
to the mind,
to the life of the heart and mind,
and to life itself.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Confession#1: Words

I am

not
a big fan

of exaggerated phrases
and complicated sentences.
Of incomprehensible
indigestible
wordswordswords.


I like Words.

On their own.

In couples.
In thr
ees
.
Maybe even up to tens.

And Words
woven in with
Rhythm and Harmony

to make

good Music.

Keeping a Mystery
in their Simplicity,

and a

Fascination

whentheyare
puttogether.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Secret #1: My Biggest Distraction

I haven't done my assignments. It's not that I'm lazy. It's just that I'm too busy waiting for that moment you go online and appear in my contacts list, even though I know there is a very slim chance of you pm-ing me.


Ah, high school days? :P

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Quoted: Song

" I wish we could open our eyes
To see in all directions at the same time
Oh what a beautiful view
If you were never aware of what was around you. "

- Marching Bands Of Manhattan, Death Cab for Cutie

Sunday, July 05, 2009

Find: HAPPINESS

Look for it.

It's there, inside of you.

Take time.

Have clarity :)

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Lines: YOU

I check up on you every now&then
AndIanticipate
Wishing

      that you've come
    a
      r
       o
      u
     n
    d again
And spoke with words I never knew you could create



I
    you
 we
let me
          d
          ow
          n.