Your Will, Not Mine

I've always wanted to be part of this. I hope it is what You will for me too.

Back to Basics: Metro Manila YCom Weekend

26-27 June 2010 QC Central Post Office

Thank you Vince Ong for this photo :)

First

Just for some reflection.

• Nothing lasts forever no matter how it feels today
• 'Cause though love can change the weather, no act of God can pull me away from you
• Afraid to love beyond what I can lose when it comes to you, and though I see us through
• Is there a better bet than love?
• What you are is what you breathe
• Chances are only what we make them, and all I need. 

 From Chances by Five For Fighting.

Fish are Friends

But this time around, they are food.











GRR YOU SHOULD BE EATEN! GRRR

Paperweight

I wonder why I feel heavier when I decide to "let go" of something, when some people say that letting go should make you feel better--lighter.






 And I give up
I let you win

Maybe I'm still too stubborn to give it all up this time?

Get Your Courage Up

La Luz, Laiya, Batangas

I've always been scared of deep waters, even though I've taken swimming lessons and learned some strokes as a kid. This morning, I dared myself to conquer my fear. I owe this to the people who helped me in reaching that raft.

You shake the shivers off
You take a drink to get your courage up
Can you believe it
Just this once, just for now
And just like that
It’s over

Oh, Another Social Casualty

And indeed, I am singing "My Stupid Mouth" to myself once again.
No, the regret will all be mine for I know I have said too much
Too much than I should
Too much than what I could
Handle when the words hit back.
Too much, but then just enough
For the world to see
Just how much I am addicted
Just what or who or how
Or, oh, how much, you mean to me.

A mess I made once again.

But then,
Maybe all of it was true
Well at least to me.
It's the way I've perceived
And maybe it's different from how you've yourself.
No I should not feel guilty
But I tell you I do.
No I should not be ashamed
For feeling like I do now.
No I shouldn't.
After all this was a waltz you lead,
And I just followed
And I ended up in places I thought you were leading me to.
If it weren't for you.
But hey maybe I got things wrong
Mistaking actions
Mistaking things
For signals of what they really were
Not.
But the fault isn't just mine after all.
All is ours.
Ours is the fault.

One more thing
Why is it my fault?
So maybe I try too hard
But it's all because of this desire
I just want to be liked; I just want to be funny
Look like the joke's on me
So call me Captain Backfire

So This Is Us

Yesterday morning was quite gloomy-- I was already actually waiting for the rain to fall down. But FR must go on, and so it did. The sun shined, and PreP people were so fun and cool, all my worrying about the FR was soooo unnecessary! The day was gloomy no more. Good bonding time with the PrePpers after the FR, too! Haha. Red is the color of bliss! Ha.


I spent some time reading in a bookstore later that afternoon, while waiting for a concert to start. I picked up a novel entitled Shiver, by Maggie Stiefvater. I've seen it at a book sale in Educ, thought the cover was nice, and promised myself I have to get a copy. So, since I've been given the chance to, I read its first five chapters. And I just wanna share:

        But no matter how long I waited, no matter how hard I tried to reach him, he would always melt into the undergrowth before I could cross the distance between us.
         I was never afraid of him. He was large enough to tear me from my swing, strong enough to knock me down and drag me into the woods. But the ferocity of his body wasn’t in his eyes. I remembered his gaze, every hue of yellow, and I couldn’t afraid. I know he wouldn't hurt me.
         I wanted him to know I wouldn’t hurt him.
         I waited. And waited.


         And he waited, too, though I didn’t know what he was waiting for. It felt like I was the only one reaching out.
         But he was always there. Watching me watching him. Never any closer to me, but never any further away, either.
         And so it was an unbroken pattern for six years the wolves’ hovering presence in the winter and their even more haunting absence in the summer. I didn’t really think about the timing. I thought they were wolves. Only wolves.


--------------------


         I have planned a thousand different versions of this scene in my head, but now that the moment had come, I didn’t know what to do.
...
         My chest ached, my body speaking a language my head didn’t quite understand.
         I waited.
         But Grace, the only person in the world I wanted to know me, just ran a wanting finger over the cover of one of the new hardcovers and walked out of the store without ever realizing I was there, right within reach.

Yeah. How the world works. How drinks can put a person's guard down, and let her reveal her most hurtful hurts, her most woeful woes, her saddest love story. Wow. I never would have known if it weren't for such a cheap social lubricant as The Bar.

How the world works. How the love story of a unique couple can be told in such way that other people can relate to it. How stories, though different, can be so much like yours. Or how a song written for a specific person can be sung to another person in almost, if not, the same intensive emotions.

How the world works. How 150pesos can get you a good coffee, a bun of bread, an ear-and-emotion therapy, and chills when you get to hear some of the sweetest and your most loved songs played live!

How the world works. How a few minutes can make the 24 hours of your day-- or even more of it.

How the world works. How strangers become friends. How a smile can cheer you up. How things can be easier when they're shared in the right way, at the right time, with the right people.

Funny, amazing, wonderful, mysterious. How the world works.